I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
