Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
