im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
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foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Actions speak louder than pants.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
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So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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