does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
