Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
