cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
