I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
