I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
