New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize