put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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