Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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