Who did Billy Mays play for?
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
