yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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