I wish i was in the wii world.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
