I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
