You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize