I wish I could punch you in the face.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize