nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
