This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
