Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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