I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
