You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
