It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
