I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
