you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
