I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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