She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
dude. I can hear the air.
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