I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
