I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
