fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I love you.
Bad choice
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize