Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
