By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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