honey bunches of taint.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
