Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
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