So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
