Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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