Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
