from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
