Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
