I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
false alarm, still single
Randomize
