I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
