you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
how does that bad decision feel?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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