i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Green mimosas i think yes
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
