i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Randomize
