Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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