More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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