Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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