One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
