saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize