So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
