you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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