I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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