Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
