Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
