i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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