One girl and one boy is just not enough.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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