Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(845): View more from New York

Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations

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(845): Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations http://tfl.nu/d924

Replies (20) Good night (3052) Bad night (617)
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(949): View more from California

After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(

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(949): After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =( http://tfl.nu/pv1c

Replies (43) Good night (701) Bad night (5414)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x

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(+44): Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x http://tfl.nu/rt6u

Replies (10) Good night (8011) Bad night (1299)
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(307): View more from Wyoming

He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.

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(307): He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him. http://tfl.nu/54ly

Replies (7) Good night (3848) Bad night (1013)
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(541): View more from Oregon

Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.

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(541): Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either. http://tfl.nu/a1p0

Replies (9) Good night (1985) Bad night (718)
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(305): View more from Florida

She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"

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(305): She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered" http://tfl.nu/7vwf

Replies (3) Good night (2052) Bad night (532)
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(512): View more from Texas

I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.

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(512): I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good. http://tfl.nu/1b0u

Replies (2) Good night (1001) Bad night (486)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.

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(+44): She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina. http://tfl.nu/51hz

Replies (14) Good night (2392) Bad night (645)
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(416): View more from Toronto

I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE

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(416): I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE http://tfl.nu/e7i8

Replies (6) Good night (653) Bad night (844)
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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"

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(780): Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl" http://tfl.nu/k17c

Replies (2) Good night (1002) Bad night (454)
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(417): View more from Missouri

He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.

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(417): He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex. http://tfl.nu/n0fj

Replies (1) Good night (327) Bad night (670)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.

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(505): Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible. http://tfl.nu/eufu

Replies (1) Good night (370) Bad night (410)
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(703): View more from Virginia

The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week

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(703): The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week http://tfl.nu/myyh

Replies (2) Good night (332) Bad night (802)
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(941): View more from Florida

"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"

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(941): "Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?" http://tfl.nu/ffpa

Replies (2) Good night (620) Bad night (298)
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried

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(403): I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried http://tfl.nu/kvp1

Replies (4) Good night (197) Bad night (434)

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