Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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