He had one of those small greek statue penises
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras