how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up