I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
