Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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